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Everything is a work in progress.

I think all unsuccessful men over the age of 35 should be systematically exterminated.

If you’re heterosexual, over 35 years of age, not currently in a long-term relationship of some kind, and/or don’t have kids, you’re done. Congrats.

And to get everyone on board with this, we’ll start exclusively with the WHITE guys who fit this criteria. We’ll eventually expand this operation to include all races, but we’ll get rid of all the white guys first.

A person is demonstrably Who They Are by the time they’re 35. No man who was a true failure at 35 ever made it…


I’ll still be around on Medium, but I’m going to start re-posting new drafts of my short stories on my Substack here.


The MCU is a feat to behold. It’s reached the point where it’s formulaic, but the formula is so perfect so you don’t really care. They are a genre all their own, much like martial arts films or westerns. And they keep bringing in new things, adding freshness onto the formulaic. Shang-Chi successfully blends the new with the familiar.

Simu Lu is somewhat wooden but he’s the lottery winner here and I imagine he’ll grow into his role like everyone else has. Awkwafina has some real friends in Hollywood that keep giving her chances. She’s not terrible but she’s not…


This was better than the other two Suicide Squad movies, but we all know that’s not saying much. James Gunn doesn’t quite capture the light-hearted soul he did with the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie, but he does elevate the material from crap to decent enough.

It’s a shame — Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn could’ve been as iconic as Downey Jr’s Iron Man had she been given something better to work with. She clearly loves playing the role and is perfectly cast. Her Brooklyn accent is finally nailed down on her third try. Idris Elba is great, bringing all…


I’m a big fan of David Lowery, and I’ve recently realized I don’t know exactly why. I still haven’t seen Ain’t Them Bodies Saints. I thought Pete’s Dragon was all right for what it was, though I’ve heard other people refer to it as “abysmal”. I appreciated what he tried to do with A Ghost Story but was bored while watching it (Rooney Mara eating a pie for 15 minutes = ‘filmmaking’). The Old Man and the Gun was a tight, practical little flick. …


The best films are ones that surprise you with their brilliance. Pig is special. It features an old lion returning to form and a wicked new talent born into the public consciousness. I will remember where I was and how I felt upon seeing this for the first time.

Go into this movie knowing nothing. I’d seen no trailers, no reviews. Only word of mouth saying it was Cage’s best performance in years and a brief plot description. None of that spoils anything. This movie is not what it appears. I will do my best not to give anything away.


I didn’t really know who Anthony Bourdain was till he died. I was aware of him, but never watched anything he’d done save his cameo in The Big Short. After he passed I spent that summer watching Parts Unknown and really enjoyed it.

Bourdain was good at what he did but there was always this weird vibe around it all — rich people dining in barrios and slums and Waffle Houses before jetting private back to their 10k a night hotel suites. The man was a lottery winner and he knew it. He was a New York chef ex-addict who…


I hadn’t planned on going to see this, skipped it upon its release in May. I randomly saw a WEBM from the movie that was so ridiculous I thought it had to be fake. It wasn’t.

I loved Gillespie’s I, Tonya. One of my favorite movies of 2017. I also have a massive crush on Emma Stone, ever since seeing her smile at the end of Zombieland while The Black Keys played. I call her Miss Hollywood and have enjoyed watching her blossom from the secondary female lead in Superbad to an Oscar-winning A-lister. …


Marvel movies are like pizza and sex; even when they’re bad, they’re still pretty good.

Black Widow is pretty good and nothing else. It serves its purpose and doesn’t attempt to become anything more, because if it did, that would be a risk, and movies like this don’t take risks. They’re like mid-size sedans or dish soap or pillows. They’re put out with the expectation that the customers who buy them will know exactly what they're getting. They blend just enough art in with the commerce to pass as entertaining, but the commercial incentive never completely recedes from view like…


I’m glad the Lin Manuel Miranda wave has crested and crashed. The guy is not nearly as great as everyone made him out to be. He’s what happens when affluent white liberals want to ease their guilt.

This movie didn’t hold my attention. Checked my phone constantly, though maybe it was because this is only the third time I’ve been to the theater since March of 2020. I think I would’ve liked it way more in its original play form. …

Adrien Carver

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