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Everything is a work in progress.

I think all unsuccessful men over the age of 35 should be systematically exterminated.

If you’re heterosexual, over 35 years of age, not currently in a long-term relationship of some kind, and/or don’t have kids, you’re done. Congrats.

And to get everyone on board with this, we’ll start exclusively with the WHITE guys who fit this criteria. We’ll eventually expand this operation to include all races, but we’ll get rid of all the white guys first.

A person is demonstrably Who They Are by the time they’re 35. No man who was a true failure at 35 ever made it…


I was familiar with this game but never played it. Primal Rage was my fighting game of choice in the 90s, and that’s a movie I’m hoping someone makes soon. But yeah I went in totally cold to this, saw the trailer where Sub Zero uses the frozen blood knife and that was good enough reason for me. No nostaliga trip.

What a ridiculously stupid and fun movie this is. It’s like 60 percent stupid, 40 percent fun. The stupid is prevalent the whole time, the fun saves the movie from being unwatchable. If these were characters that didn’t have…


*Possible spoilers

I’ve been a Godzilla fan since I was a wee one, and the MonsterVerse so far has been a disappointment to me, mostly because the movies couldn’t decide if they were grimdark or absurd fun for 12-year-olds.

This one finally succeeds because it picks a lane and sticks with it. It never pretends to take itself seriously. That would be a waste of time. This movie is loud, dumb fun and it doesn’t try to be anything else. And that’s exactly what it needed to be.

The humans never feel like they’re getting in the way; they serve…


*bunch of haikus based on my top 25 favorite albums

“out of time”

near wild heaven

i sat there looking ugly

but this film is on

“doolittle”

man in the middle

stay all day if you want to

girl you’re so groovy

“ohio”

hello ohio

the last time i saw Jesus

esoteric love

“king james version”

still no plan in place

a kid in a carpet store

already spinning

“boxer”

you’re the tall kingdom

raise our heavenly glasses

diamond slippers on

“dizzy up the girl”

whisper in my ear

scatter like ice from the spoon

give up forever

“futures”

i…


The velvet underground plays

As I pinch a few extra bunches in

and

Spark the glow, producing a most

Satisfying crackle followed by the

Stankiest of plumes

Lou reed one…


Somewhere amongst the doo wop

Covers of miley cyrus and sad singing

Clowns and the inadvertently hilarious

amy grant concerts I realize that my knee

is jutting into the tender…


It’s like a slow fire, you know, simmering

Don’t be afraid to stoke the flames a bit, though

Don’t be afraid to show your edge

Gather steam and then just…


congregated, open-mouthed

unable to think of anything else

in the summer’s furnace light

The colors collide, excited night

vibrations unite, reactions abound

losing yourself inside a new sound

a stirring…


The bottom bun is pleasurably thin and

Soft as a co-eds thigh on Sunday morning

toasted, not soggy; fluffy, not stale

The lettuce green and fresh in strips

You can…


First movie I watched this year where I thought, “I wish I would’ve seen this in a theater.”

I remember reading about this back in the day when Spielberg was supposed to direct it and Will Smith was playing Bobby Seale and Jeff Daniels was David Dellinger.

Sorkin’s style grates occasionally but overall it flows. Some of it almost borders on propaganda, some of it is really self-indulgent. But the movie’s failings never overshadow its successes.

Cast is stellar. Awesome mix. Great to see Joseph Gordon Levitt again. Sacha Baron Cohen is good but can’t seem to nail down his…

Adrien Carver

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